Sunday, May 10, 2009

the 411.


Every month for the last 2 years my friends have gifted me with a therapeutic massage. This has been a HUGE help for me. I carry my stress in my neck and when I fall, that is the area of my body that suffers the most. I am so grateful for this gift...I will never be able to repay my friends who allow me to do this.
Because of the longevity of going to the same masseuse for the past two years, we have developed an awesome friendship. An added bonus. This past Friday I had an appointment- the timing was impeccable as I had fallen in the beginning of the week and as a result could barely move my neck. As she was working on my body and we were talking, she asked me where I hurt. I tried to pawn it off by grumbling and pointing to my neck. "Holly, does it hurt in your stomach or your heart or your throat...where does it hurt?" It was at that point that I realized we were doing a lot more than working the kinks out in my neck. I had to think about where I hurt and then gestured to the area of my heart as the tears began to flow. "Ah, it's your heart that hurts."
It was at that point that God used her in my life to encourage me and help me to work out the kinks not only in my neck, but the knots in my heart. And boy, are they there...
...kind of like this cop that parks in a parking lot near my house to "catch" the person who's not abiding by the speed limit.
My view of God is like this, I am ashamed to admit. He is "looming" at a distance. And I have been "caught". Now I have a choice to welcome the alert or get mad at His authority in my life. Thus, the tears. It's humbling. It's lonely. It's overwhelming. It's downright scary and painfully slow.
But God is gracious. That is what I am choosing to believe today.
And hopefully that driver that got pulled over believes, too.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can't believe I haven't commented on this yet. I read it when you initially posted it on the fly and forgot to come back to it.

What a gift. "Where does it hurt". To be asked that question.

Love you.
T

Matt Lipan said...

i couldn't agree with you more T, that is a great gift.

Holly, i admire that you allowed yourself to be vulnerable enough to answer the question, i mean to really answer the question. so many people are afraid to do that and end up hurting for a long time. i have no doubt that God will be present in your answers.