God's Will.

I met God's Will on a Halloween night
He was dressed as a bag of leaves
It hid the braces on his legs at first

His smile was as bright as the August sun
When he looked at me
As he struggled down the driveway, it almost
Made me hurt

Will don't walk too good
Will don't talk too good
He won't do the things that the other kids do,
In our neighborhood

[Chorus:]
I've been searchin', wonderin', thinkin'
Lost and lookin' all my life
I've been wounded, jaded, loved and hated
I've wrestled wrong and right
He was a boy without a father
And his mother's miracle
I've been readin', writin', prayin', fightin'
I guess I would be still
Yeah, that was until
I knew God's Will


Every time I hear this song, God's Will, I get choked up.

This week our church hosted "Avalanche Ranch" VBS. (vacation bible school) The whole church was decked out. Horses brought in, fences built, 1500 barells of hay laid out, t-shirts and cowboy hats adorned, music in the parking lot blaring (a no-no with Pastor Paul), 800 kids from the ages of 3-8...it would have been difficult not to catch the buzz.

The faith of a child intrigues me. In a sense, I am jealous of it. If they know Jesus, they love Him- no strings attached. I envy that innocence because I've allowed my strings to become a tangled mess.

On the last day of Avalanche Ranch I poked my head in the chapel where 100 kids age 3 and 4 were whooping and hollaring for Jesus-Because of their faith small as a mustard seed. That, and because the leader and the kid next to them was. I sat in the back with a grin on my face, longing for the simplicity of their faith.

Come with me back to my highschool days...I didn't know Jesus until my junior year of highschool. For some odd reason, I had a heart for those who didn't quite connect with others. One of those people was Willie. (I won't use his last name to protect the innocent) Willie took a liking to me as well as he would call my home. With his speech impediment and his difficulty hearing, it made our phone conversations rather brief. It was easier for me to talk with him face to face and attempt to "befriend" him as much as a 17 year old girl could do. (or wanted to do so she wouldn't scar her image) I always hurt for Willie- never fitting in.

Now I am in the back of the chapel, absorbing the "fun" of VBS. My smile quickly faded as I scanned the rows of pews with kids screamin "God is awesome" at the tope of their lungs. In the very back row was Willie. Lovin' on Jesus the same but once again, not fitting in.

God's Will.