I pride myself on having a brain. I love to be challenged in my thinking. I am one of those weird people who enjoyed school. Not the demands and pressures of studying for tests but the way it made me process. It made my brain work. My friend Jeremy has decided to go back to school and I often feel jealous that he is writing a paper or even studying. He has a goal. He is challenged. He is hopeful for a good grade. He is in company with scholars. I just listen and recognize my brain is turning to mush. It’s much simpler to turn the power button on the remote control for the TV or stuff my ears with my iPod earphones while relating to the scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz, “If I Only Had a Brain”.
We often hear the expression, “three times and you’re out!”I have had my fair share of attempts at a good swing these past few days and my plastic bat is not even hitting the wiffle ball.
Yesterday in church I was catching up with a friend. I was asking how his wife is feeling as he told me she is hopeful to give birth the second week of May.
“Oh, that’s so exciting!”
“Yea, but we’re thinking she is going to go early.”
“Really?”
“Yea, we’re shootin’ for a Cinco De Mayo baby.”
“Oh yea, when’s that?” said with a straight face, mind you.
Strike One!
My friend Jo and I were riding in an elevator. This is a necessity at times when you're wheelchair bound. After the doors closed shut, we were both staring at the buttons trying to figure out what floor we were on and which one we had to move to.
Jo asked, “What does the star mean that is by this number?”
I replied (again, with a straight face), “It tells us what floor you’re on.”
Strike Two!
This morning as I was getting ready for work, I almost finished my morning ritual. A couple of squirts of my favorite perfume that a friend gave me, completes my routine. I typically head out to the kitchen to let Delsie outside. That is, if I am pointing the nozzle of the perfume to squirt on my neck and not directly in my left eye!
Strike Three!
So, the scarecrow and I have more in common than just difficulty in walking. Not a whole lot going on in that “noggin’” of mine these days. Maybe I should attempt to study for a PhD…”If I Only Had a Brain.”
We often hear the expression, “three times and you’re out!”I have had my fair share of attempts at a good swing these past few days and my plastic bat is not even hitting the wiffle ball.
Yesterday in church I was catching up with a friend. I was asking how his wife is feeling as he told me she is hopeful to give birth the second week of May.
“Oh, that’s so exciting!”
“Yea, but we’re thinking she is going to go early.”
“Really?”
“Yea, we’re shootin’ for a Cinco De Mayo baby.”
“Oh yea, when’s that?” said with a straight face, mind you.
Strike One!
My friend Jo and I were riding in an elevator. This is a necessity at times when you're wheelchair bound. After the doors closed shut, we were both staring at the buttons trying to figure out what floor we were on and which one we had to move to.
Jo asked, “What does the star mean that is by this number?”
I replied (again, with a straight face), “It tells us what floor you’re on.”
Strike Two!
This morning as I was getting ready for work, I almost finished my morning ritual. A couple of squirts of my favorite perfume that a friend gave me, completes my routine. I typically head out to the kitchen to let Delsie outside. That is, if I am pointing the nozzle of the perfume to squirt on my neck and not directly in my left eye!
Strike Three!
So, the scarecrow and I have more in common than just difficulty in walking. Not a whole lot going on in that “noggin’” of mine these days. Maybe I should attempt to study for a PhD…”If I Only Had a Brain.”
6 comments:
Hilarious...although not really. I can totally relate. I can't believe the mental marathons I used to be able to run and now a slow crawl seems to keep me panting (mentally) for days. I can't even think of anything witty to say for this comment...
T
I love that when I scrolled down to read your "strike three," the picture from your previous post comes into view.
Amusingly appropriate. :)
I don't even know what to say. Thigh cheese is the only thing that comes to mind.
As soon as I read your post I knew that "If I Only Had A Brain" was going to be ricocheting through my mind all day...and beyond.
I think I'll keep track of how many "strikes" I have at bat today.
much love to a fellow noob
hilarious!! laughed out loud. great writing!
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